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- Anurag Chauhan
"A Poem for Mother" by Robin S. Ngangom: A Son's Ode to his Mother
If there be aught surpassing human deed or thought, it is a mother’s love!
Few are those moments when we ever stop to listen to our heart that beats with time. The heart that has always been beating ceaselessly through the best of times and the worst of times of your life.
But when the mound of memories and scale of time becomes huge enough to shadow your ambitious journey into the future, you cannot help but listen to the silence veiled under the face of your past.
And one being that gives birth to our time and energy to our life, that one being that exists when we are nothing, and remains even if we become nothing is our “Mother”. The mother that we leave somewhere far behind in our race with the future. But she knows nothing but love; she is nothing but love.
As Marchioness de Spadara once said,
If there be aught surpassing human deed or word or thought, it is a mother’s love!
Our Mother shrouds us when we are just a single-celled possibility, our mother feeds us when we are a helpless life, and our mother cultivates us with love and care into a being of worth.
In the symphony of devotion, Mother's love knows no boundaries. It is an eternal river, flowing ceaselessly through time's landscape. In her warm embrace, we find a sanctuary, where our heart finds solace, and our tender mind flourishes. Her selflessness is a beacon that guides her child through life's labyrinth.
But when we learn to run into the fields of time, we become callous of our origins; and of the tears, sweat and blood that every atom of our existence is under the debt of. That we are nothing and owe every breath we take to our “Mother”.
"A Poem for Mother" by Robin S. Ngangom
One poet who strives to capture the vastness of a mother’s landscape of love and devotion in the beautiful words of his poem “A Poem for Mother” is Robin S. Ngangom, an Indian poet who is largely known for his literary work on the theme of ‘Terror, Conflict and Insurgency’, particularly in the context of the North-Eastern hills of India.
It, therefore, feels more astounding that Ngangom has been able to put forth such a deep and insightful piece of poetry on “Mothers”, despite having been the eyes of the world over the scenes of violence and protests.
In his poem “A Poem for Mother”, Robin S. Ngangom delves deeper into the reminiscences of his own mother “Palem Apokpi” and carves out a son’s struggle to repay the motherly love into words of a poetic confession.
Ngangom’s brilliant depiction of the memory of his childhood, and how he perceived his mother as the epitome of hard work, values, dedication, passion, devotion, and learnings for life, brings us closer to our own memories of our mother’s love and care that cultivated us into a worthy human being.
In the poem, Ngangom goes a step ahead of just his reminiscences and vividly paints his sense of guilt and regret for not being able to grow up into a good son and relieve his mother from all the hard work that she has been doing for his son and for the family throughout her life.
As he says,
Forgive me, for all your dreams of peace during your remnant days I turned out to be a small man with small dreams, living a small life.
Ngangom and his Mother: Reminiscing Love and Regret
In the initial phase of his poem, Robin Ngangom paints his emotive and colourful memory of his childhood with the hues of his mother’s love and care for him.
Looking back at his early days, Ngangom feels that his childhood and early adulthood were too callous and distracted by the lights of the world to ever pay attention to his mother, who always taught him the lessons for life and pushed him to become a better person in his life.
Palem Apokpi, mother who gave birth to me, to be a man how I hated leaving home ten years ago. Now these hills have grown on me. But I’m still your painfully shy son with a ravenous appetite, the boy who lost many teeth after emptying your larder. And I am also your dreamy-eyed lad who gave you difficult times during his schooldays, romancing every girl he wanted, even when he still wore half-pants. You told your children that money and time do not grow on trees, and I could never learn to keep up with them.
Robin S. Ngangom remembers the way his mother, with her love and care, fed his huge appetite as a hungry kid. Remembering the fine details of those times so vividly shows Robin’s strong sense of emotions that he is going through while crafting the words of his poem for mother.
Ngangom feels a sense of regret for not paying attention to his mother when she used to deliver him the lessons for life, which he eventually learnt the hard way after growing up into a man.
As he says, “I could never learn to keep up with them”, Ngangom talks about the intricate relationship of money and time in a man’s life. He now, after being grown up, realizes the immensity of what his mother used to teach him. But today he regrets that he never paid attention to his mother, and rather kept himself busy with the whims and fancies of his childhood.
Robin Ngangom puts up a tender confession, an expression of remorse and longing, like a whisper from the heart when he says,
It isn’t that I’ve forgotten what you’ve come to mean to me though I abandoned much and left so little of myself for others to remember me.
“It isn't that I've forgotten what you’ve come to mean to me,” tells us about the lasting impact his mother has had on Ngangom. It's like a treasure chest of memories, carefully guarded within his soul. He reveals and cherishes the depth of his relationship with his mother, the special place for her in the Ngangom's heart, like a guiding light that has illuminated his journey.
Robin Ngangom acknowledges the choices he has made that led to detachment and feelings of emptiness. “Though I abandoned much and left” paints a picture of regret and perhaps a sense of loss as if the Ngangom had to sacrifice parts of himself in pursuit of his own path.
He admits out of self-awareness, that he has not been as present for others as his mother wished he could have been.
“To remember me” is the most poignant part, where Ngangom yearns for a place in the hearts and memories of those he cares about, his mother. It is a fear of fading away, like a whisper lost in the wind, and the desire to leave a lasting impact on the lives of others.
Mother's Labour of Love
Robin S. Ngangom observes and reflects on the sacrifices and struggles her mother has endured for him all her life. He paints a vivid portrait of a devoted mother who works tirelessly to care for her family, displaying her unconditional love and dedication.
He beautifully captures his mother's unyielding commitment to her family, as she worked diligently, "working her fingers to the bone," like all mothers do, selflessly attending to the needs of her loved ones.
He dives deeper into the fine details of a mother’s struggles and the hard work they do for their son, their ageing husband, and their daughters-in-law who are liberated from the burdens and responsibilities of a domestic life.
I know how you work your fingers to the bone as all mothers do, for unmarried sons, ageing husband and liberated daughters-in-law. Worried about us, for a long time your lips couldn’t burgeon in a smile, lines have furrowed your face and first signs of snow are on your hair. Today, as on every day you must have risen with temple bells before cockcrow, swept the floors and after the sacred bath cooked for the remainder of us. I can see you returning every dusk from the bazaar, your head laden with baskets. Must you end toiling forever?
Robin Ngangom touches the heart of his mother and perceives her worry for her son and her family, and realizes that with time, that burden of worries and responsibilities became too heavy to let her lips bloom into the showers of smile and laughter.
The poet observes that with growing worries and responsibilities, the lines of ageing have spurted out on the face of his mother, and the grey snow of time has started to settle on her head.
Robin S. Ngangom looks at his distant past as if he is reliving all the moments that he ever lived with his mother. He remembers her as a strong, tireless lady who was devoted to her child, family, and day-to-day chores as if it was her sadhana of love and care.
He wonders about the immense sense of her mother’s empathy and the selfless service that she offered to him and his family so that they can step ahead in life.
The poet names the instances of everyday tasks like rising with the temple bells before the cockcrow, sweeping the floors, and preparing food for everyone after having a bath that Ngangom intentionally calls “sacred” for it was perceived as her sadhana towards her family and loved ones.
Ngangom wonders if his mother’s ceaseless toil will ever find respite, expressing a desire for her well-deserved rest and happiness after a lifetime of selfless dedication to her family.
A Son's Ode to his Mother
Robin S. Ngangom pays tribute to the unconditional love, care, devotion, and learnings that his mother, Palem Apokpi showered on him when he was a child, but regrets not being able to cherish her company and repay her debt of love in the form of old age rest and relief.
After growing up into a man, the poet feels that he could not become able enough to free his mother from the chains of labour and service of care. Besides, he has a sense of guilt for not cherishing and nurturing the moments that he spent with his mother as a child. And not learn the things by heart that his mother taught him while he was with her.
When Ngangom says,
I’m sorry Palem. I’ve inherited nothing of your stable ways or culinary skills. Forgive me, for all your dreams of peace during your remnant days I turned out to be a small man with small dreams, living a small life.
He conveys a heartfelt apology to his mother, Palem, and expresses regret and disappointment in his own character and accomplishments, feeling he has not lived up to the virtues and skills passed down from Palem.
Every word of “A Poem for Mother” reflects Robin Ngangom's deep sense of regret for not living up to the expectations set by his mother and for not embodying the virtues and dreams that were cherished by his mother for their future.
It is a poignant expression of self-awareness and a desire for forgiveness and understanding from his mother he deeply respects and admires. And that at the time when she has less time left in her life.
As John Dryden wrote in his heroic drama “All for Love” (1677),
I have not wept these forty years; but now my mother comes afresh into my eyes.
The introspective “A Poem for Mother” delves into Robin S. Ngangom’s emotional journey of acknowledging his own perceived shortcomings and expressing remorse for not living up to the expectations and dreams of someone he deeply cares about, that is his mother.
It is a reflection of the complexities of human emotions, as the poet grapples with feelings of inadequacy and the desire for forgiveness and understanding from Palem Apokpi.
It serves as a heartfelt expression of the Ngangom's humility and vulnerability, making it a deeply touching and relatable poem for those who have ever experienced similar moments of self-reflection and the yearning for acceptance from those they love.
Read and Contemplate on the John Keats's discovery of the truth of imagination in his letters, and then on the great leap of faith that humanity took in Hannah Arendt's philosophy.
Get your own copy of Selected Poems by Robin S. Ngangom here.
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